I wish I knew how to help you, help me! #
Miah Beloved had said this to me a time or two actually. I must admit I was almost a little confused by the statement at first, but I did understand what she meant and where she was coming from. But if you could help me, help you, then couldn’t you just help yourself and leave me out of it? I mean, why involve a middle man if you don’t need to right? *Shrugz and Laughz*
I must admit, I did find it somewhat funny then too. But now? It is happening to me and it is not as funny as it was then. Still funny though! Just not *as* funny. You see, there was this video link that practically described me to the T. I had copied the link and sent to the important people in my life. And or to the people that *need* to understand me in order to give me the help that *I NEED.* BUT! Like not one person that I had sent it to, had actually watched it.
This does not make me angry though. This makes me sad. But getting sad used to make me angry. Fortunately for them and Mice Elf, this is no longer the case. But I had somewhat intentionally put Mice Elf into quite the pickle recently. Long story short, I had let my ADHD Self off the chain, you could say. Because it, in all honesty, really *needed* to be done. But that story is also for another time.
AnyWho! There’s this lady that, well she gets paid to help people with their sobriety more or less. And I just so happen to be one of those people. So, I deemed it relatively important that she watched the video. But she has not. She said she will, but it’s long she had said more than once. It is a forty-two minute video, but it’s rather informative and psychology based. Which is more important to know in that line of work than most people realize. Or so *I* believe anyway. But what do I know?
I know, I know! Get to the point already, will ya! Okay, okay! The point is, I have a meeting with her this coming Monday. And well, I think we can sit and watch it together during “my time” so to speak. Because in all honesty, I have been trying to nonchalantly tell her that… She can not help me, because she does not grasp some of the things about me, that the video put into better words than I have in the past. And I have tried countless of times to communicate with these people and it always seems to go absolutely nowhere. So, why should I keep seeing her or anyone for that matter, that is practically just going to waste my time?
Well, for the same reason why I stayed with Miah Beloved back in the day. Well, maybe not the exact same reason, but close enough. It does happen to be one of those things that I have a hard time explaining, but simply put – I was placed here for a reason. There’s not a person that enters your life that did not have a purpose behind it. And if *fail* to learn your lesson at that time, you will encounter it again and again, until you do. And I don’t know about you, but I am really tired of repeating these lessons! I did mention that to Miah Beloved as well! Whatever it was I was supposed to learn from her, we were going to get it done so I didn’t have to put up with that $H!T again!
And so the same principal applies here. I have repeated enough of these stupid ass lessons enough times I tell ya. So I don’t *run* from anyone or any situation anymore. But I still just don’t see, why people have to make it so G.D. difficult! I mean, damn! Give me a break, cut me some slack, give a dog a bone will ya! *Laughz*
So, now that I have let that out and it is nearly 16:00 or four o’clock in the afternoon, I *believe* I can get some sleep now. Hopefully when I wake up, I can manage to get somewhere with my YBI situation. I still do not understand why I have such a hard time completing anything. But with a little luck and some Adderall, and thy will be done… We’ll get to where we belong one way or the other anywho… So *Shrugz* Thank you for your time!
Date: <2026-10-08> (15:49)
Author: Autistic -And- Foolish Lee
Notes: Should I explain why I sign both Autistic and Foolish Lee or just let them keep guessing?